The headlines all read something like "Tragic Beauty Anna Nicole Smith Found Dead." As I read the story that followed, a roller coaster of emotions coursed through my body. I started angry, became sad for a while and then started shouting the question "Why?" to the heavens, already knowing the answer: because it was a slow news day. You have to be kidding, right? A "tragic beauty?"
Sure, Anna Nicole was tragic from the day she got her start at a greasy, small town fried chicken joint serving up heaping helpings of cholesterol to dirty old men. It got even more tragic when after her shift at the chicken joint she would go to her next job, rubbing her lady parts all over the dirty old men she had just served fried chicken. Perhaps the most tragic thing of all was Smith's decision to sleep with the wrinkled old bugger who was horny enough to let his fortune get swept away by this busty blond.
The tragedy in Anna Nicole's life was easy to spot. Hell, it was hard to avoid. Every time a Trim Spa commercial came on the tube, we were reminded just desperately unlovable this woman was. But beautiful? I guess if you're in to skeletons with badly hung DD's and voices that only a deaf man could love then yeah, she was quite the catch. For the rest of us, she was terrifying.
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